Always a first time

Sentences I never thought i'd ever hear..

* Hey guys, be careful ! Remember your'll are standing on the river !

*You know, my mom spread a rumour about me that.....

*What was the name of the guy I climbed the mountain with ?

*Don't worry, I havent seen my sister naked (from a guy)....

my no-longer kutty brother

This is the last funny moment i remember at home.

I was taking ice-cubes from the freezer and at the same time he was taking ketchup from the fridge and as i slammed to door of the freezer..it just about touched his hair..and i laughed at how short he was.

When pa came home, he'd stand on the couch next to the door to unlock the door.

When I last went home, about 3 months back..I was trying to lift something rather heavy to be moved  downstairs..he came, made me leave it aside and moved it himself..it felt so strange...It had always been me taking care of him, helping and doing things for him.

Suddenly like ten minutes back I get a mail,with pictures of his 12th std farewell..he's much taller than me now(I honestly don't know when that happened)..in a shirt,blazer and tie looking so cute and with his girlfriend.I catch him online a moment later and i ask him "is that your gf?" and his reply is, "ya..it's been six months what kind of a sister are you? everyone here knows.."

I wish i had an answer to that. In being so self-involved, have I missed out on other more important things? I dont know.

 I want to go home.

One..two..three...

I hate walking up stairs.

My house is on the 4th floor.

College was on the 5th floor.

Hostel was on the 3rd floor.

Work was on the 5th floor.

I now stay on the 3rd floor.

Why cant everything just be on one freaking level?

Just got back from class and finding a reason to complain.

The river is wide and the water is deep

My brother is  writing his board exams next week.

Feels like mine got over only yesterday..,when I had a week off for chemistry.. feeling blank the day of the exam...looking at the text which by then was split into six, felt like i was looking at something new...terrible times..unwanted pressure..

There's so much "Build-up" for the 12th exams..that when your in school, it makes you feel like you do this one thing right and your life is set. Your going to be Rich and famous, don't have to study anymore, no more worrying about tests, classes and open house.

They forget to tell you, it's just the beginning of your struggle and it's only going to get harder.

Best of luck ash .

Room Number One-Twenty-One ..

It's strange how two people who have nothing in common end up being big parts of each others lives.

This was how she introduced herself, "Hi.. Im from Cochin, I study in Stella, I was supposed to do engg thou, i go for kathak classes in the evenings, i have a boyfriend and this is my second year here, I was very close to my old roommate so i told myself ill not like the next person who moves in but I don't mind you".

We had no common friends then, no similar interests but still took coupons and decided to go have some hot horlicks downstairs. I never thought a day would come where we would mutually agree on something.

Her idea of fun was going to the Satyam,Landmark, Oxford, Vivs and the Beach and mine was going to gym, 21c, speed, family guy and ten-d. I didn't think a world existed beyond that.

If it were anyone else i would've been ignored or bitched about and we would've just been two people who lived in separate rooms next to each other. But she was different..fun, full of life, active and hyper, self-less, intelligent, caring, level-headed,independent, mature and a good conversationalist.
She could see through people and understand them in minutes. I admired her for that.I still do.

Eventually after hanging out with her..my Wednesday's became fancy dinner nyte's(Rs. 35 Al Najeeb biryani) instead of beer, Fridays became movies instead of the free shooters in speed. At times, we watched a movie and went for a drink after. I introduced her to Whiskey and coke :P

It was a brilliant phase. I became more organised and self-controlled while she became more experimental in doing things and little less scared of Warden. Even if I had the worst day ever...just coming back to hostel for dinner and a conversation with her made my day.

Over a period of time, I became a little dependent and possessive about her. I hated it when she did her internship in ABM cause I felt like her boss was stealing her away from me and when she had to go to her aunts house in porur over the weekend.

Almost a year since we've both moved out and to different countries, I like to say that we are still up to date with each others lives. I even know she went shopping with her aunt yesterday. The more I talk to her to more I admire her for the person she is.

I can never thank her for how single handedly and gradually, she made me realise I had much more potential in me, than I could have ever imagined.

I miss her

Not just a pretty girl

Women's studies classes should be made compulsory to every student all over the world..esp..In India.

  Till I came here, I just about knew that a feminist is someone who fights for or believes in women's equal rights..didn't know why, when , how nothing. I took this class only  cause the other class I wanted ( drawing ) was full and this was at a good timing.

  It's just been 5 weeks and i absolutely love it..it really gets you thinking. We learn about the different kinds of feminism and how each movement started which sounds really boring but you realise, it's  just not a thing of the past. Most women today are still being dominated, oppressed and abused emotionally or physically. It might not be on as large a scale as it was but it definitely still exists. Women are still viewed as sex objects who look pretty for the man's pleasure and now it's being portrayed that way everywhere that it doesn't affect us or even make us pause and think. Media has pretty much just gotten us used to the concept. Prostitution , porn and strip clubs make matters worse.

  I've suddenly started appreciating and looking at  shows like Powerpuff Girls, Sex & the City, women like Oprah, Ellen and  Marget Cho differently.

Lots of extremely intelligent, pretty and fun women I know really changed(most for the worse) and are shattered after a relationship but the male counterpart finds his next target in a matter of weeks and is content with his life. It sucks.

In future,as cliche as this might sound, I wish to contribute more towards the liberalisation of women and  help them realise they are worth so MUCH more. 

I can almost feel ashwitha looking at me proudly.

I think I'm moving but I go nowhere

I was really excited about g-mails new feature. Previously you could only label your mails..now you can actually put them in different folders like it used to be on hotmail and not have them in your inbox.

 After a super long week of mid-terms finally got down to sorting my mails, created separate folders for friends, family, work stuff ..etc..In the process ended up reading a few mails..chats ., Lakshmi's one line "doubt mails"..asking my dad for more money mails....wedding invites from two of my married classmates...brothers occasional venting on how unfair my parents are to him...Grandma's mails on human relationships and the 'weather in Coimbatore'..AIESEC applications...my million surveys...MOP's alumni mails...endless number of mails from vidyuth..pictures sent (from facebook) with the subject always being .."Have to see".."look how fat her arms are"... 

 All these mails ..previously, I read them..replied and never thought of it five min after..but for some reason today...going through them took much longer...mind wandering...smiled to myself occasionally...felt like an idiot when i read a few...and few just wont get off my mind even 5 hours  and three episodes of 30 Rock later... 

  I hate and love how the past haunts me.